MY BREAKUP DAY IN KATHMANDU

WEATHER: Cooler and 25C

WORD OF THE DAY: Breakup, single, destiny, hope, faith, sadness and relief  

THANKS TO ALL MY WATER CHARITY DONATIONS SO FAR:

Tracy Carsburg

http://mycharitywater.org/bernies-odyssey-for-clean-water

 I’m in Kathmandu.  It sounds weird to say it.  It’s one of those destinations that you hear about, it’s tied to Mt Everest and base camp expeditions and I am here.  Well, it is no shock that I am not here to climb or trek anywhere near Mt Everest or surrounds, but I can see people looking at me when I am out and about and I know that they are thinking: is she here to climb, she doesn’t look fit enough.  I can just see it as they are dressed in the Kathmandu and Colombia trekking gear, wearing their trekking shoes with their Black Wolf backpacks and I am in a skirt with a cardigan carrying my environmentally friendly shopping bag I got in Boracay over my shoulder.  Well they can judge all they like.  I don’t care.  I am here to see the country of Nepal and there are other things to see and do than trekking and puffing up the biggest mountain, or whatever it is, in the world.  I even had one of the supervisors of the restaurant ask me after dinner one night if I was here to trek, and I said no way, and he patted his stomach and said yes it would be hard for you, what are you 100kg?  I said maybe a little more and he kept trying to guess so I just agreed, paid my bill and left.  I guess it could have been worse and he patted MY tummy.  I take it in the way it is meant, it isn’t nasty, I guess in the land of trekkers and climbers, they don’t see too many people my size.  I rekon I am probably part of a small group/percentage that come to Nepal to NOT trek.  The whole tourist section is geared for only this.  Bag shops selling backpacks, tourist outlets selling sleeping bags, a lot of travel agencies selling the trek packages, trekking shops-anything to do with climbing it can be found here.  I am HAPPY I don’t need any of that stuff!!!!

My first full day in Kathmandu was spent as a recluse in my room.  I made it out for breakfast at 9am, it wasn’t included so I paid the 465rupess which is like 5.60AUD and pulled up a seat with my book and just had a leisurely breakfast.  I was in no rush to get anywhere today.  I had plans of going for a walk later in the afternoon, there looked to be some groovy shops when we drove past yesterday and I can buy up here as I am on a jet plane home after this tour-so that is a must on my list in the coming days.  I am not too concerned about not seeing anything else as the tour takes in some of Kathmandu and then when we return back here in 2 weeks I have another 4 nights here before leaving.  If I had my wish I would have just date changed my ticket to come home earlier, but the cost was like an extra 580AUD, so it was cheaper to stay the 4 days and then head back to Singapore.  In saying that I had a spare 10 days between this tour finishing and getting home, but I date changed my ticket today and I am now connecting through Singapore (well a night) and I now officially arrive home on Saturday the 17^th November.  A full week ahead of schedule, which I am over the moon about and I really think I am going to need the extra time with everything I need to fit in while I am home.  I need to clear my shipping container, Christmas is in there, I need to sort out what things I will get sent to Ethiopia, I need to spend time with friends, I need to fit in a trip to Townsville to see my Dad, try and squeeze in a trip to Melbourne (outside chance), my birthday celebrations and that is what I know I have.  I am sure the girls have a whole line up of things as well.  It is overwhelming already and I’m not even home yet….. It sounds magic!

So after breakfast I headed to my room and thought I may as well use this time to pump out a blog.  I am now only officially 3 days behind and I can’t tell you what great feeling that is.  I jumped on-line and saw that Zeme was on, so I sent yet another message that went un-replied.  I am not sure if he knows that I can see when he reads my messages and this was going to be the third day of no correspondence.  It is so unfair, but I have not been nasty, as there is an avalanche of things I could be saying but I’m not and then he finally came back and asked if I could call him.  Well my UK and Oz sim cards don’t work here, so I told him I would call him within the hour and went out to find a Nepal sim card.  I asked reception on my way out where I could find a sim place and they told me to turn left and just 100m down the road there was an internet place that sold them.  Woo hoo.  I needed to really make this call, speak to him and get the closure that I need, well at least try.  You need your passport and a photo to obtain a sim here, which of course I had none of the above, but he let me take the card on the proviso that I came back with what he needed.  So I did and he loaded me up with some credit and I was back to the hotel to make the call.  This is when I rued the day I was smart to the receptionist, being on the 5^th floor is a hike and a puff and is getting me fit for….. Well it is going to do me good so I won’t complain.  I wasn’t even sure the cost of calls so I purchased 650pesos in the hope that would give me some chat time and it worked out it gave me nearly 9 minutes.  Not bad for 7.50AUD.  Needless to say it wasn’t enough, so as I had to go back to the internet place with my documents anyway, I went back, finished off the application and then purchased another 1000pesos of credit.  This will be the last credit I would buy, and I wanted to make sure I had enough.  I figured this would give me a good 15 minutes.  So back up another 5 flights of stairs and back to the room and then I finished things officially with Zeme.  He was very chatty but I really could only understand bits and pieces of the conversation, with the connection and language I was not getting a lot.  But it was enough for me, as sad as it was, it was enough for me.  I now had to tell everyone that the great romance has ended. 

And what better way to do this than via Facebook.  If you know me, you know Facebook is my life line.  It is my connection to my world and literally the whole world.  I know what is happening with the US elections through my American friends, I know who is winning any major football game from home, I know who and what was winning gold medals from my UK and European friends and anything else that is big news is always in people’s feeds.  For me it is more than that.  It is a connection to home, my friends and the people I meet.  I am able to share my photos, my blog updates and letting people know I am okay and where in the world I am.  For people that don’t use Facebook, find it hard to understand sometimes my ‘obsession’ with it, but it really is a part of my daily routine and how I keep in touch.  It may not sound like a big deal to people, but for me the final step of my breakup with Zeme was changing my relationship status on Facebook.  It may even sound pathetic to people, but for me it was like the finality of the whole thing and admitting to myself that it was really happening.  And I felt I had to do it as I was feeling I was living a lie with it telling everyone I was in a relationship with Zeme Moges when we weren’t.  It was so sad and I hadn’t really had a cry since the whole ball stated 3 days ago, and besides my breakdown in Cebu, I had not let myself just go, but open the flood gates it did and then when people’s messages came rolling in showing all their love and support, I was a blubbering mess.  But I think one needs to have a good cry, you do feel better and now I was on my own, in a hotel room in Kathmandu, but I didn’t feel alone as I had support flowing in from my friends all over the world.  You guys rock-and reading everything bought a smile to my face even though I had tears rolling down my face and I looked like a red beetroot.  I needed this and now that it is in the public domain, I feel I can now move forward with purpose, with hope and with a plan.

I know people are interested in what happened.  When you put your life on a website and your life is so transparent on Facebook you have to expect that.  I would want to know if I was following some-one else’s journey.  So I wanted to let people I was okay, know my thoughts and answer questions that I knew people would want to be asking.  I had written up something during my 6 hour layover in Singapore and today I was able to share that on my blog.  I had always promised Zeme that certain things would not go on the blog, he was always very worried about things that we spoke about and happened when we were together, and like anybody on any of my trips that may have done some ‘things’ it is not my place or business to tell the world and this was also my promise to Zeme that some things would stay private and I have stuck to my word.  By this time it was well after 4pm.  So I decided to just chill and watch some movies till dinner at 7pm when I made my way downstairs for a feed.

The power comes and goes here, just like Ethiopia, but when it come back on not all the power points work straight away.  It is so annoying and in my room there is only one plug that takes an adapter, the other plugs are some funky points like Sri Lanka.  I am sure there are adapters that can be bought and I will check with my tour leader on Sunday.  But the TV is also the US plug so I can’t charge and watch TV at the same time.  Annoying.  So needless to say I’m listening to a bit of music at the moment which isn’t a bad thing at the end of the day.  It was quite sweet when I say at a table the manager bought over a candle and lit it and then came back with an Australian flag on a small stand.  What a nice touch.  I think the reception staff can learn a thing or two from their restaurant staff that is for sure.

So that was my ‘breakup’ day in Kathmandu.  I may have been on my own, but with all the heart felt messages I received and keep receiving, I know that I am not alone.  I am so lucky and blessed to have people that care from all over the world and I may have lost love, but I know my friendships are here to stay and it is with that thought I went to sleep with a sad smile on my face. 

I loved with all my heart, stayed true to myself and I am going to make every moment in my life count.