FEELING BLUE IN CEBU

WEATHER: Flaming hot and 32C

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: Getting back to the hotel

BUMMER OF THE DAY: Having a meltdown-literally…..

WORD OF THE DAY: Things can only get better…..

BUDDHA QUOTE FOR THE DAY:

“There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.”

Something happened. 

Something inside me clicked overnight while I was sleeping and I woke with tears. 

Was it something I had dreamed? 

My sub-conscience telling me something? 

What have I been doing with my life the last 2 years?

Where is my future heading?

I have been on the road now for 526 days.  I have been ‘displaced’ (no home to call my own) for 794 days when my whole world was rocked and I separated from my now, ex-husband.  I moved in with my best-friend and her family for 6 months prior to my World Odyssey and even though I was home for 7 weeks in June I have been on the road for 575 days.  My life has changed.  I have seen a lot of things witnessed a lot of things and experienced a lot of things and with this I have decided that I cannot move back to Australia.  There are a lot of people that need help in this fabulous world of ours and I somehow hope to make a small difference, somewhere, somehow to someone.  This is me and this is now.  

Everyone thinks it is a great life travelling the world and I certainly am not going to complain.  I am a lucky person and I am living the dream and doing something that a lot of people will never have the chance or means to be able to do.  Everything comes at a cost.  This was a dream of my mum’s to travel-possibly, actually I know, not the way I am doing it, but it is because of her that I am on this amazing adventure, meeting people, making long life friends and changing the course of my future to something I would never have imagined I would have taken if you had of asked me 12 months ago.  But here I find myself in a room in Cebu-Philippines wondering what the hell?

There are a few things going in in my head and life (which I won’t go into) and I have been struggling to work them out the last week.  I have tried to speak to Zeme about it all and between the phone, the language and the cultural difference I don’t believe he has a true grasp on what I am trying to tell him.  I have always said that there are some things that should not make the blog, in my personal life, and also things that happen on tours, no bitching and gossiping about people and I am not going to start now.  BUT I need a direction on where I am going and what am I going to do at the end of my Odyssey.  I can’t be reliant on people to make that decision for me and I think that is part of the reason I was so upset when Zeme cancelled my move to Ethiopia in September.  It was all kosher, DFAT said to not go and I trusted him.  But I cannot keep running and waiting for some-one to give me the go ahead on what I will be doing next in my life.  I am getting tired of living out of a backpack, I am tired of not having a place to call my own and I am tired of relying on people to choose my destiny.

So I am taking it all back.  I am now back in control.  I am in charge of my life.  If things with Zeme do or don’t work out I am heading to Ethiopia in January.  Just this simple statement made me feel 100% better.  I know a few people now in Addis and I hope they will help me out should I not have the blessing of Zeme.  This was a comforting fact for me.  Don’t get me wrong, Zeme and I have not had a fight, I am just starting to think outside the box and always one to have a plan, I needed this ‘something’ to happen to me.  I can’t be reliant on people to tell me when and why I can or can’t start my life.  It is a heavy thought for 6.15am in the morning and it is funny when these things decide to hit. 

So it is with this in mind I got ready for the day-I had a half day city tour booked and then I was looking forward to a chillax day this afternoon as I clearly think I am tired, emotional and on my own where I can’t discuss this with anybody.  My guide and driver for the morning were Rory and Rawell.  Straight up I wasn’t sure I like Rawell.  Just the way he spoke to me gave me a bad vibe and he was one of those guides that asks questions and wanted an answer to.  Like when we got to the Taoist Temple he asked me what the difference was between a western dragon and an Asian dragon?  Hell I have no idea, but he wanted an answer so I gave one and it was wrong.  This happened a few times during the morning and I was starting to wonder if he enjoyed making me feel like a goose.  It was the last thing I wanted to deal with after this morning and I was ready to give him a slap for his tip rather than some cash.             

Cebu is a province in the Philippines, consisting of Cebu Island and 167 surrounding islands.  Cebu is a long narrow island stretching 225 kilometers from north to south, surrounded by 167 neighboring, smaller islands.  Cebu has narrow coastlines, limestone plateaus and coastal plains. It also has rolling hills and rugged mountain ranges traversing the northern and southern lengths of the island. Cebu's highest mountains are over 1000 meters high.  Its capital is Cebu City, the oldest city in the Philippines.  Cebuano is the official language spoken in Cebu.  Between the 13th and 16th century Cebu then known as Zubu (or Sugbo) and was an island inhabited by Hindu, animist and Muslim ruled by Rajahs and Datus.  It was a kingdom of the defunct Rajahnate of Cebu.  The Rajahnate of Cebu was a native kingdom which used to exist in Cebu prior to the arrival of the Spaniards. It was founded by Sri 'Lumay' otherwise known as 'Rajamuda Lumaya', a native prince of the Chola dynasty which had invaded Sumatra in Indonesia. He was sent by the Maharajah to establish a base for expeditionary forces to subdue the local kingdoms, but he rebelled and established his own independent Rajahnate instead.

The arrival of Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan in 1521 established a period of Spanish exploration and colonization.  Losing favor for his plan of reaching the Spice Islands from King Manuel I of Portugal, by sailing west from Europe, Magellan offered his services to King Charles I of Spain. On September 20, 1519, Magellan led five ships with a crew of 250 people from the Spanish fort of Sanlúcar de Barrameda enroute to Southeast Asia via the Americas and Pacific Ocean. They reached the Philippines on March 16, 1521. Rajah Kolambu the king of Mazaua told them to sail for Cebu, where they could trade and have provisions.  Arriving in Cebu City, Magellan, with Enrique of Malacca as translator, befriended Rajah Humabon the Rajah or King of Cebu and persuaded the natives of allegiance to Charles I of Spain. Humabon and his wife were given Christian names and baptized as Carlos and Juana. The Santo Niño was presented to the native queen of Cebu, as a symbol of peace and friendship between the Spaniards and the Cebuanos. On April 14, Magellan erected a large wooden cross on the shores of Cebu. Afterwards, about 700 islanders were baptized.  Magellan soon heard of Datu Lapu-Lapu, a native king in nearby Mactan Island, a rival of the Rajahs of Cebu. It was thought that Humabon and Lapu-Lapu had been fighting for control of the flourishing trade in the area. On April 27, the Battle of Mactan occurred where the Spaniards were defeated and Magellan killed by the natives of Mactan.  Magellan's second in command, Juan Sebastián Elcano took his place as captain of the expedition and sailed their fleet back to Spain, circumnavigating the world.

Survivors of the Magellan expedition brought tales of a savage island in the East Indies with them when they returned to Spain. Consequently, several Spanish expeditions were sent to the islands but all ended in failure. In 1564, Spanish explorers led by Miguel López de Legazpi sailing from Mexico arrived in 1565 and established a colony. The Spaniards fought the King Rajah Tupas and occupied his territories. The Spaniards established settlements, trade flourished and renamed the island to "Villa del Santíssimo Nombre de Jesús" (Town of the Most Holy Name of Jesus). Cebu became the first European settlement established by the Spanish Cortés in the Philippines. In 1595, the Universidad de San Carlos (University of San Carlos) was established and in 1860, Cebu opened its forts to foreign trade. The first printing house was established in 1873 and in 1880, the College of the Immaculate Conception was established and the first periodical The Bulletin of Cebu began publishing in 1886. In 1898, the island was ceded to the United States after the Spanish-American War and Philippine-American War. In 1901, Cebu was governed by the United States for a brief period; however it became a charter province on February 24, 1937 and was governed independently by Filipino politicians.  Cebu, being one of the most densely populated islands in the Philippines, served as a Japanese base during their occupation in World War II which began with the landing of Japanese soldiers in April 1942.  Almost three years later in March 1945, combined Filipino and American forces landed and reoccupied the island during the liberation of the Philippines. Cebuano guerrilla groups led by an American, James Cushing is credited for the establishment of the Koga Papers which is said to have changed the American plans to retake the Philippines from Japanese occupation in 1944, by helping the combined United States and the Philippine Commonwealth Army forces enter Cebu in 1945. The following year the island achieved independence from colonial rule in 1946.

Our first stop was the Cebu Taoist Temple.  Built in 1972 located in Beverly Hills.  The temple was built by Cebu's substantial Chinese community. With an elevation of 300 meters above sea level, the temple is a towering, multi-tiered, multi-hued attraction accessible by three separate winding routes.  The Taoist temple is open to the worshipers and non-worshipers alike. A ritual among devotees is where one prays to the gods to grant one's wish. The ritual includes washing of hands, going inside the chapel barefoot and dropping two blocks of wood. If the blocks of wood are both face up then one could make a wish. If not then it is not yet the time for one's wish to be granted and one has to come to the temple some other time.  The temple is the center of worship for Taoism, the religion which follows the teachings of the ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Zi. Another ritual among Taoist devotees, which is done during Wednesdays and Sundays, is the climbing of its 81 steps (representing the 81 chapters of Taoism scriptures) to light joss sticks and have their fortune read by the monks.  The entrance to the temple is a replica of the Great Wall of China. The temple includes a chapel, a library, a souvenir shop and a wishing well. The spacious balconies offer a scenic view of the downtown Cebu.

From here we drove the 20 minutes into downtown for our next stop.  They have the jeepney’s here and they seem a little smaller than in Manila but they also seem to have more motorized tricycles here.  They are a common means of passenger transport everywhere in the Philippines, except on busy major highways and very busy city streets. The tricycle is the most popular means of transport in small towns and cities, especially in the rural areas.  Motorized tricycles come in several varieties. All are built around a motorcycle. One variety has a cab completely enclosing the motorcycle and rider. These accommodate three to four passengers and luggage or boxes can be placed on the roof. A passenger sits next to the driver and up to three passengers can be seated in two bench seats in a compartment behind the rider and front seat. These can be completely enclosed in plastic during rainy weather.  The tricycles are painted colorful just like the jeepneys. During elections campaign posters usually plaster many of the tricycles.  Passenger fares are much cheaper than for taxis, yet more expensive than for jeepney’s. They seem to range from P6 to P250, depending on the locality and the distance to be ridden.  It was pretty cool to see how many people they could get on these tricycles.  Nothing like this would ever pass in Australia. 

Our second stop was at Magellan's Cross which is a Christian cross planted by Portuguese, and Spanish explorers as ordered by Ferdinand Magellan upon arriving in Cebu in the Philippines on (depending on source) April 14 or 21, 1521.  This cross is housed in a chapel next to the Basilica Minore del Santo Niño on Magallanes Street (Magallanes being the Spanish name of Magellan), just in front of the city center of Cebu City. A sign below the cross describes the original cross is encased inside the wooden cross that is found in the center of the chapel. This is to protect the original cross from people who chipped away parts of the cross for souvenir purposes or in the belief that the cross possesses miraculous powers.  Some people, however, believe that the original cross had been destroyed or had disappeared after Magellan's death, and the cross is a replica that was planted there by the Spaniards after they successfully colonized the Philippines. There were ladies here that sold candles that you could buy and then they went on top of a shelf and they would all be lighted tonight by a Priest. 

Only a 5 minute walk from Magellan’s Cross was the Minor Basilica of the Santo Niño which is a 16th century church.  It was built purportedly on the spot where the image of the Santo Niño, a sculpture depicting the Holy Child Jesus found by Spanish explorers in 1565 preserved in a burned wooden box which was left behind during the 1521 Magellan expedition.  The church of Santo Niño de Cebu was founded by an Augustinian priest, Andrés de Urdaneta on April 28, 1565. The first church structure was built out of earth, hard wood and nipa in 1566.  In 1735, Fernando Valdés y Tamon, the Governor of Cebu, ordered the church to be constructed of hard stone, which was built in the same spot were the previous church stood. Construction was completed in 1739. In 1965, during the fourth centenary of the Christianization of the Philippines, Pope Paul VI elevated the church to the rank of minor basilica.  There were a lot of parishioners in the church and as I was observing them when they had finished their prayers they stood and waved at an icon and left.  Rawell explained to me as the Saint of the church was a child, what better way to catch a child’s attention than to wave to him to get his attention as they leave.  It has become a bit of a custom here in the church and after he had pointed it out I noticed it more and more.    

Back in the car and 10 minutes away was the San Pedro Fort.  Fuerza de San Pedro is a military defence structure, built by Spanish and indigenous Cebuano laborers under the command of Spanish conquistador, Miguel López de Legazpi and the Spanish Government in Cebu.  The smallest, oldest triangular bastion fort in the country was built in 1738 to repel Muslim raiders. In turn, it served as a stronghold for Filipino revolutionaries near the end of the 19th century. This served as the nucleus of the first Spanish settlement in the Philippines.  The fort is triangular in shape, with two sides facing the sea and the third side fronting the land. The two sides facing the sea were defended with artillery and the front with a strong palisade made of wood.  It has a total inside area of 2,025 square meters.  The walls are 6.1 m high, 2.4 m thick and the towers are 9.1 m high from the ground level. The circumference is 380m. The sides are of unequal lengths and the one fronting the city is where one may find entry into the Fort.  Fourteen cannons were mounted in their emplacements most of which are still there today. Work first started on May 8, 1565 with Miguel Lopéz de Legazpi breaking ground.  Fort San Pedro became a part of the American Warwick Barracks during the American Regime. In later years from 1937 to 1941 the barracks was converted into a school where many Cebuanos received their formal education. During World War II from 1942 to 1945, Japanese residents of the City took refuge within the walls. When the battle to liberate the City of Cebu from the Imperial Japanese forces was fought, the fort served as an emergency hospital for the wounded.  From 1946 to 1950, Fort San Pedro was an army camp. After 1950, the Cebu Garden Club took over and fixed the inner part and converted it into a miniature garden.  Although already in ruins, the upper deck was utilized for different offices. First, as a clinic of the City Health, as office of the Presidential Arm and Community Development then the City Public Works Unit used the ruins of the Lieutenant's Quarters as its field office.  These days, part of the fort is a museum. Inside the fort houses the legacies of the Spanish Government. The well preserved Spanish artifacts such as Spanish documents, paintings and sculpture. A large statue of Legazpi and Antonio Pigafetta may be seen outside the fort walls.  We walked around the fort for around 30 minutes and then we had 2 more stops for the day. 

The Heritage of Cebu Monument and is a monumental sculptural.  Construction began on July 1997 and it was inaugurated on Dec. 8, 2000. It showcases the significant and symbolic events in the history of Cebu from the time of Rajah Humabon to the recent beatification of Cebuano martyr Pedro Calunsod.  The Heritage of Cebu Monument is a tableau of sculptures made of concrete, bronze, brass and steel showing scenes about events and structures related to the history of Cebu. The structures depicted in the Heritage Monument are the Basilica del Santo Niño, the Cebu Metropolitan Cathedral, the Saint John the Baptist Church, the Magellan’s Cross, and a Spanish Galleon and the scenes depicted are the baptism of Rajah Humabon, a procession of the Santo Niño, a Roman Catholic mass, and the Battle of Mactan between Lapu-Lapu and Ferdinand Magellan. It was pretty impressive to walk around this magnificent memorial.  It was set on rock that was 5m high and then the actual sculptures would have been another 5-8m high again.  It was a job well done and initially the job was to cost 4 million pesos jumped to 10 million by the time the memorial was completed.

Our last stop for the morning was the Sugbo National Museum where I was given free time to walk through the 12 rooms that made up the museum.  It was a very thorough with antiques from the Spanish rule, the American occupation and also the Japanese rule.  It had rooms of media history, political history and day to day life through the centuries.  All the signage was in English as well as Filipino and well set out and easy to understand.  That concluded the city tour and with it at 11am the heat was starting to kick in so again I appreciated the early start.  As much as Rawell drove me crazy, he knew his stuff and I tipped him and the Rory well for their service today.  I was back at the hotel at 11.30am and was relived I had nothing to do this afternoon. 

I needed time to regroup and feel sorry for myself.  I think everyone needs to do that every now and then.  It is humbling and I think it shows that we are all human and that things are not always rainbows and smiles.  I spoke to Zeme this afternoon in the hope I could tell him my feelings but it is so frustrating (for both of us) when I have a feeling what I am saying is not getting through, at no fault to Zeme as I don’t speak Amharic and it made me feel worse.  I updated my Facebook status in a river of tears, not knowing how else I could get a message out there that I needed some friendly virtual hugs and as the hours ticked by my friends didn’t let me down and I would like to thank you all for your very very kind words and thoughts and I know that tomorrow will be a new day, and I know I will pick myself up and I know I will soldier on- but today I was lost and I had lost sight with everything that I thought I knew. 

Nobody knows what the future holds.  We can only live in the present, not worry about the past and to not second guess what lies ahead for us.  BUT I do know that I will be heading to Ethiopia and I know I will make a good life there-by hook or by crook.