It is time to say goodbye to friends, family and to a
life that I know and love.
It’s time to say goodbye to Australia-my home for the
last 38 years with no return date.
I think one of the hardest parts of leaving is that I
have a good life here. I am part of
something here. I know I have people who
love me, include me in their lives and I am sad that I am leaving that. The kids, the parties, the race days, the
concerts, the BBQ’s, the movie nights, picking the kids up from school, seeing
their smiling faces, their outlook on life as kids, yet to experience the
‘other’ part of life that is not always build a bears and lollies. I am so privileged to see what the world looks
like through their eyes and it is refreshing and I will miss that as they grow
up into small adults. It brings tears to
my eyes just thinking about it. Don’t
get me wrong, I will be back for holidays, hopefully at least once a year-it’s
not goodbye forever. But not having a
date of return is a little off putting for me.
I have always known I would be back for Zoe’s birthday (much to Tess
disgust), back for my birthday and Christmas and now…nothing….. I am just not in a position to know where I
will be in 8 weeks let alone in 5 months’ time.
I have been thinking, and with some help from my friends,
that maybe I should be looking at Kenya rather than Ethiopia to set up my new
life and I am starting to think that this maybe a good option for me. Ethiopia was picked initially because of
Zeme. I like the country and I liked the
challenge it was going to give me BUT with some-one by my side. Very little English is spoken there, tourism
is still in its early stages, westerners are not common, let alone voluptuous
ones and it will be hard. I’m not scared
of hard work, but when people don’t even speak the language, I am up against it
before I even start. I have Minalu, who
will help me set up when I arrive.
Finding somewhere to live and also helping with my visa. But what happens when he has to go away on
tour for 2-4 weeks? I am sure by that
point I would have neighbours and they could help, but the last thing I want to
do is get that stuck that I would have to ring Zeme. I would HATE that. I want nothing to do with him and to be that
desperate to be reliant again on him just makes me cringe.
So enter in Kenya.
I am visiting a friend there at the end of January and I am going to get
a feel for the place. Kenya is certainly
more geared for tourism which in turn means they are used to westerners. They speak English, well certainly not the
whole population, but I would have a better chance of English speakers in Kenya
than in Ethiopia. They were once
colonized by the Brits, so they drive on the same side as us and some of their
basic laws are similar to ours. I would
assume that the job prospects would be better also in Kenya. Certainly with paying ones and earning a
wage. For me this is not the clincher
though. I am more than happy to do charity work or volunteer work and I know
there is plenty of that in Ethiopia and I am still more than happy to settle
there should I not like the feel of Kenya.
But I want to give it a try. I
owe it to myself to try. I have always
said I will not be coming back to Australia.
Africa is going to be my new home and I just need to find the right
country for me. I’m not scared to give
them all a try if I have to and with contacts in Cameroon, Tanzania and
Mozambique. So I am not all out of
options and I just have to see how it all goes once I am over there. This is the scary thing for me. Not having a plan past the 21st
January 2013. I am not that type of
person and I just have to accept that it is just the way it is and when I say I
am in the hands of fate, I really am-it isn’t just a saying for me, it is a
fact and that SCARES me.
People tell me how brave I am, but to be honest I am
scared. What about if I don’t make
friends? What about if I can’t find a
job? It’s so much for the money side of
things the job. It is more for me to
meeting people and learning the language.
Money would be a bonus as that means I can save for airline tickets
home-no work, means no trips and that fact makes me sad. No I will definitely need to work, but the
beauty is I won’t have to do it full time.
My quality of life will hopefully be better. It may not be a western quality of life, what
people would expect back home, but I can have a good life without all the
pressures of mortgage, massive bills and the cost of living and health
insurance. For me this is a small
sacrifice and you don’t need all the western comforts to be happy. The African people have shown me that and to
complete the picture I hope to meet that ‘some-one’ special one day and that
would complete the picture for me.
Thrown in some children, whether I bear my own or adopt, this is also
something else that is on my future cards.
I have so much to offer and I need to remember this in times of
doubt. Not only am I hoping to improve
my own life, but also of those around me.
Shelly and I can’t even look at each other the last
couple of days without getting tears in our eyes. We don’t even have to speak. Tessie is finding it hard. Even though she knows why I am going they
still have to ask why I have to go. The
easiest explanation I can give them is that I am going to help the children
that don’t have mums and dads and I can’t do that from here in Australia. I have to go over there to help them grow and
to make them believe in themselves-give them love and friendship. You can see their little 5 and 7 year old
faces think about this fact and they accept it, but they still want to know
why. Tess keeps saying that she is happy
that Christmas is coming but she is also sad as it also means that I will be
leaving and tears spring to her face.
What can you say to a 5 year old that is breaking your heart when you
see her cry because of you and there is nothing I can do about it? The girls have memories like elephants and
Tess keeps asking why I came home for Zoe’s birthday in July and why I won’t
come back for her birthday in April? She
asks the tough questions that kid! So I
have made a promise to her that if I don’t come home for her next birthday
which is unlikely I will make sure I will be home for her birthday in
2014. Yu may laugh, but I know she will
hold me to it, and if I make a promise I keep them, so if nothing else I know I
will be home in April 2014. I am
dreading our airport goodbye. DREADING.
I feel like an idiot now when people ask me where in
Africa I am moving to? Before it was
100% Ethiopia, but now I just don’t know and I am going to just have to keep
looking like an idiot a little longer until I get my feet back onto the
continent I have fallen in love with and see where I land.
So with all my belongings donated and given away and my
life condensed into 20 boxes waiting for shipment- it is time to say goodbye.
The time has come.
They say that fortune favours the brave……… we will see
………
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